


Moments of Doubt

by taxidermistsoul



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Established Relationship, M/M, Mental Health Issues, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-10 21:30:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12920643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taxidermistsoul/pseuds/taxidermistsoul
Summary: Derek and Stiles fight (but not really) about their daughter being called off of school.





	Moments of Doubt

**Author's Note:**

> all mistakes made by me yadda yadda. see endnotes for why I wrote this crap.

Derek jiggles his key in the door. The key is a copy of a copy and it doesn’t truly fit right in the lock. He pushes on the door as the lock decides to give in. He walks in on his children watching _Arthur_ and screaming at the top of their lungs. Their oldest son, Michael is yelling at his younger brother, Tyler. Derek isn’t focused on that right now. He has more important matters to attend to.

It started when he got the call at 8:15 AM, it was a woman from the school concerned about their daughter, Riley. She’d been called off and they wanted to confirm with him that it wasn’t a fluke. The call was a shock, not because he didn’t know where she was but because he knew exactly where she was. He was confused because not only did Stiles call her off of school, but he did it after they agreed that this type of thing wouldn’t happen anymore.

Stiles has been, for lack of a better word, clinging lately. Stiles is sensitive, it’s nothing Derek hasn’t understood. It’s these delusions he has: of Derek leaving him, with his kids turning against him, of his family resenting him. These delusions, these episodes, they ruled Stiles’ life for most of his adolescence and it’s much deeper than insecurity.

It’s this voice at the back of Stiles’ mind telling him that everyone is against him. It’s a pit he feels in his stomach in a moment when he should be happy, when Michael scores a goal for his soccer team; when Tyler finishes all his homework. He’s presented with amazing moments in his life only to feel like he’s not allowed to enjoy them. Stiles sees a professional and he takes medication, but there are moments that he struggles. Derek noticed him struggling when he first got promoted thus changing his hours. Stiles isn’t exactly new to change but he doesn’t take it very well. It conjures up feelings of inadequacy and jealousy. He told Derek that this time it would be no problem, but then Derek started noticing the difference. The first signs were when Stiles would attach himself to Derek in the morning before he got up. It was almost 20 minutes of struggling and pleading before Derek could finally convince Stiles that he needed to let him go or he’d be late. He seldom achieved this without a few tears.

Derek knew that Stiles was comfortable in their past routine but he didn’t anticipate how drastically this would affect Stiles; it’s been frustrating, to say the least. Not because it’s happening but because Derek can’t do anything to placate how Stiles feels, he can’t change Stiles’ mind, and he surely can’t calm him down. Derek feels helpless and he can only imagine how Stiles feels.

In the past, they got through these episodes together and, foolishly, he thought it was going to get better. Stiles wasn’t giving him an ultimatum in the morning anymore. He stopped attacking Derek when he would walk through the door at the end of his workday. It was beginning to look like Stiles was getting used to their new arrangement. Derek couldn’t have been more wrong. Stiles was still clinging, just not to Derek. Michael came to Derek after dinner one day and asked to speak in private. He went through every plausible scenario: drugs, dating, failing in school, sex education, but Michael had other plans.

Derek followed Michael to his room after helping his husband clean the kitchen. Michael opens his door and gestures for Derek to come in. He quickly turns around and locks his door and turns to face his father.

“Is Dad okay?” Michael says, his eyes barring straight into Derek’s. He looks so much younger than his 15 years. Michael has an inkling that his dad has these moments of despair but it’s never been something that Stiles or Derek have really been prepared enough to sit him down and explain it. How could they explain something they don’t even understand? Michael has seen these moments in his dad. Moments when he sees Stiles stifle cries staring at him and his siblings; when he locks himself in the bathroom during family parties because he’s overwhelmed. His parents aren’t as subtle and they think they are.

Derek steels himself for a moment, “Uh, well, what do you mean, buddy?” He replied, crossing his arms over his chest.

Michael fiddles with his hands for a moment before answering. “It’s just that he, well he… I heard him the other day tell Riley to tell you she was sick so she could stay home with him and I know today was the third time he’s done that.”

Derek stares for a second because he doesn’t know how to answer his son. Riley had been telling Derek that she’d been having horrible headaches and Stiles backed her claims with accounts of her vomiting and crying out in the middle of the night. They even discussed taking her to a specialist since their pediatrician said they thought nothing was wrong with the little girl. Derek had confided in Stiles that he was scared of it, that it made him think about leukemia and tumors and a hundred different factors that could take his daughter away from him. Stiles offered his comfort in these times.

Derek doesn’t run their house like a dictator, he’s not the patriarch of the family, but he doesn’t accept excuses for his kids to not go to school unless it’s deadly or extenuating circumstances. Stiles knows this, in fact, he’s always been in complete agreement of it.

When Derek confronted Stiles about what Michael had told him, he had broken down in tears. He had begged Derek to understand his point of view, he was seeing his family less and less and Stiles hated to be alone for too long. It was a stretch but Derek had somewhat understood why Stiles had somehow believed this was a good idea. It wasn’t a fight and they had agreed that nothing like this would occur again.

That was two weeks ago.

Derek shuffles past his kids fighting on the couch but not before he ruffles Michael’s hair, much to his chagrin.  

Stiles is in the kitchen cooking whatever recipe he felt ‘spoke to him’ on those Facebook videos he just loves to share. He’s fiddling with the spice rack when Derek clears his throat to announce his arrival. Stiles flinches but doesn’t turn around right away. He seems to brace himself before he flips around; his hands clutching the edge of the counter in anticipation.

They say nothing for a moment, both knowing exactly what the other would have to say about what’s happened today.

“We never danced at our wedding!” Stiles yells, the conviction in his words appear in the way he leans off the counter to yell.

Well, maybe they didn’t know what the other was going to say. Derek sputters for a moment before he responds with an incredulous,“What the hell does that have to do with anything?”

“Nothing! It just pisses me off so I’m bringing it up now!” Stiles answers, his voice rising as Derek can see his frustration spread.

Derek shakes his head. “Stiles, we’re not—no, this isn’t about that.”

“You admitted to me you thought Scott was cute when you were drunk!” Stiles responds immediately. He raises an accusatory finger at Derek.

Derek runs his hands through his hair and pinches the bridge of his nose in irritation, “What the fuck does that have to do with anything, Stiles?”

Stiles’ eyes widened and he’s quick to give Derek a shocked tone.“Don’t swear! Our children are in the next room!”

“Stiles, did you let Riley stay home from school today, or why did her school call me and tell me they think her ‘older brother’ called in for her?” Derek says, he doesn’t want to waste any more time on Stiles’ childish games.

“I’m a grown man, damnit. I’m tired of that office patronizing me,” Stiles says before turning back around to finish whatever he had been cooking before they decided to have this discussion in the kitchen.

Derek lifts off from where he’d been leaning on the kitchen island and walks to stand beside Stiles.

“Stiles.” Derek huffs, confusion and hurt evident in his tone.

Stiles turns his body to block out Derek. “No, you don’t get to ‘Stiles’ me and think I’m just gonna bend to your every will.”

Derek grabs him from behind with only minimal fight put up by Stiles. “Why did you let her stay home?”

Stiles aligns his body stiffly against Derek’s and shrugs his questioning off. “I’m not admitting to anything.”

Derek hooks his chin in Stiles’ shoulder and says, “I know that you did it.”

Stiles says nothing and continues mixing what Derek can only imagine is broth, around in the pan. Michael walks in from the living room and Stiles quickly detaches himself from Derek.

“Dad?” Michael calls from the doorway.

Stiles turns to face his son and smiles.“Hey buddy, what’s going on?”

“What are you guys fighting about?” Michael asks.

“We’re not fighting, Michael,” Derek replies, his kids are nothing if not curious.

Michael looks at his parents and gives Derek a knowing look. “Kind of sounded like you were.”

Stiles takes something out from the oven and turns to say, “Your father is a brute, I can’t help that his innate nature is to attack.”

Derek snorts at Stiles’ response and watches the interaction between his husband and his son.

Michael laughs at his dad’s obvious frustration and answers, “Then wouldn’t that be in my nature too?”

Stiles finishes with the pan on the stove and shakes his head towards Michael. “Of course not, you very clearly take after me.”

“Is he mad because you let Riley stay home?” Michael addresses Derek.

Derek stares in Stiles’ direction.“I’m not mad.”

“Michael! Is this what they mean when they say when your kids become teenagers they turn on you?” Stiles yells while reaching for cups in the cabinet.

"Why did you let her stay home, Stiles?” Derek implores, his trust for his husband shouldn’t be questioned but it’s getting harder and harder for him to piece together a motive for Stiles.

Stiles stops what he’ doing and his eyes bore into Derek’s. “No, this is a different thing entirely.”

“So, this isn’t a fight?” Michael observes from where he stands.

Stiles places his hands on his hips in a demonstration of annoyance. “Michael, if you’re in here, who’s watching your brother and sister?”

“They can watch each other?” Michael implores.

“Oh, God. Go bring some water to your sister and make sure Tyler finished his homework.” Stiles says as he hands Michael a water bottle and pushes him towards the living room.

Stiles starts to plate dinner and pour iced tea into five glasses. He grabs the forks and the knives, It’s silent as he and Derek continue to tiptoe around the issue.

Stiles finishes putting food on the plates and he brings the pot into the sink. He stands there with his back tense before he turns around to speak to Derek.

“She legitimately threw up today, I think maybe it was the upset stomach she was complaining about last night. I don’t know what it was but I took her to the doctor and they gave her that medicine sitting on the counter.” Stiles points to a white bag sitting next to their breadbox, Derek can see the prescription stapled to the top.

Stiles wraps his arm around himself and continues,“I know I’m fucked up, okay? I know I’m delusional and I have this never-ending fear that my life is too good and one day you’ll realize what a fucking loser I am and leave me. I can’t help that, it’s just always with me.” His voice straining through the end of the sentence.

Derek reaches over to comfort Stiles but he figures he shouldn’t give Stiles sensory overload. “I’m not blaming you,” Derek whispers, hoping his tone can relay that he isn’t mad, just confused.

Stiles closes his eyes and lets out an apathetic laugh, “Then, who’s to blame?”

Derek lets out a heavy sigh, “I don’t know what to say.”

Stiles starts to wipe the tears that have fallen from his face and he looks at his husband. “I did something that hurt my child, it confused her. I have her asking me if she needs to tell you to stay home, she’s telling me she’ll fake being sick for me. I did it so I wouldn’t have to be home alone, do you know how pathetic that makes me feel?”

Derek now reaching for Stiles, he pushes Stiles head on his shoulder and starts rubbing circles on his back. “You didn’t do it to hurt her Stiles.”

“I did it so I wouldn’t have to think about being alone,” Stiles says through tears and sniffling; he’s squashed against Derek’s chest,

“That isn’t your fault Stiles.” Derek placates, he hates to see Stiles like this.

Stiles wracks his body with sobs he can’t seem to control. “Yes, it is.”

“You’d never do anything to hurt those kids, you love them too much.” Derek places his arms around Stiles' shoulders and moves him to have them face to face.

“I really do.” Stiles cries. The defeated look in his eyes breaks Derek’s heart.

Derek hugs his husband and holds the back of his head in comfort. “You’re not a bad parent, Stiles.”

Stiles deflates in Derek’s arms. “Then why do I feel like such a failure?”

**Author's Note:**

> what's going on, friends? I haven't written in about 300 years. I wrote this and I kind of hate it but I'm going through with it because why not. I wanted to explore mental health when there are kids involved and this is an issue very personal to me because ya know I'm a sucker for writing stuff I know about. If you hate it or love it let me know. I dunno how i feel about it. I guess I just wanted to convey that not everything can be resolved with a loving partner and mental health doesn't bend to the will of cute lil fluffly moments and thats why the ending isn't exactly happy i dunno, i might add to this because I want there to be a happy ending for those of us who love those.


End file.
